Me: End of May, it's in the resume I sent you.
Recruiter: So you've been out of work for FIVE MONTHS!
Me: That's just a bit over two months. (you moron)
Recruiter: And what have you been doing since then?
Me: I've been looking for work. That's why I'm contacting you. (NOOO, i've been working on my tan in the French Riviera - what the hell do you think?)
and the clincher:
Recruiter: Your resume looks pretty good. So why haven't you found a job yet?
(At which point I found myself promising to disembowel him at the first chance I got.)